In recent years, the topic of "convenient" and "normal" children has been discussed more and more in society. And in this context, it's important to understand one simple but key thing: convenient children are not the ones who live in joy, but those who avoid expressing their feelings, desires, and emotions so as not to be "inconvenient" for others. But in reality, normal children — those who grow and develop in an atmosphere of love and acceptance — will never be convenient in the traditional sense of the word. Let's explore why this happens through a real situation from my family.
Life with normal children.
Yesterday morning, we sat down for a family breakfast, chatting, laughing, and discussing plans for the weekend. Everything seemed calm and peaceful. But, as it often happens with children, their ideas suddenly push us out of our comfort zone. Liza, our youngest, suddenly decided to heat up a Choco Pie in the microwave. My wife and I weren’t thrilled about this idea, especially after yesterday’s incident when Liza had already tried it but failed — she heated the treat, brought it to the bedroom, dropped it on the floor, and broke the plate. Tears, a mess of shards on the floor, and I had to calm her down and clean up the remains.
However, despite our negative response, Liza decided to try again. And what happened? The plate broke again. More tears. And here’s where Mitya, our older one, stepped in, who, for some reason, seemed to have built up some exhaustion and released it in the form of fiery tears. The scene: broken pieces on the kitchen floor, children sitting in chairs, both crying.
But you know what’s important? These weren’t "convenient" children. These were normal children. And perhaps, it is precisely in these moments that they show what it means to be alive. Living means making mistakes, trying, not being afraid to express your emotions and experiences. Convenient children, in my opinion, are those who are afraid to be themselves, afraid to express their feelings and desires so as not to upset the adults and not step outside the bounds of expected behavior.
However, despite our negative response, Liza decided to try again. And what happened? The plate broke again. More tears. And here’s where Mitya, our older one, stepped in, who, for some reason, seemed to have built up some exhaustion and released it in the form of fiery tears. The scene: broken pieces on the kitchen floor, children sitting in chairs, both crying.
But you know what’s important? These weren’t "convenient" children. These were normal children. And perhaps, it is precisely in these moments that they show what it means to be alive. Living means making mistakes, trying, not being afraid to express your emotions and experiences. Convenient children, in my opinion, are those who are afraid to be themselves, afraid to express their feelings and desires so as not to upset the adults and not step outside the bounds of expected behavior.
Why normal children can’t be convenient?
When we talk about “normal” children, we mean those who are not afraid to make mistakes, who explore the world, try new things, and are not shy to express their emotions. And this can sometimes be inconvenient. It’s inconvenient when a child demands your attention at a moment you weren’t expecting. It’s inconvenient when a child rejects your idea and does everything their own way. It’s inconvenient when a child doesn’t always understand, “nicely,” what is expected of them.
But that’s where life is. Normal children, despite their mischief and sometimes seemingly irrational actions, ultimately grow up to be confident individuals because they are taught to express their feelings and take responsibility for their actions. They teach us not to be afraid of mistakes and to view them as experience, not as a catastrophe.
But that’s where life is. Normal children, despite their mischief and sometimes seemingly irrational actions, ultimately grow up to be confident individuals because they are taught to express their feelings and take responsibility for their actions. They teach us not to be afraid of mistakes and to view them as experience, not as a catastrophe.
The importance of mistakes and emotions.
In the same Choco Pie story, after all the stress and tears, we sat down with the kids to talk through the situation. The floor was cleaned, the kids calmed down, and I had a separate conversation with each of them. Yes, Liza did eat her Choco Pie in the end, but this experience became an important lesson for her. Perhaps next time, she’ll think twice before reheating that dessert again. Mitya also understood that his emotions were normal. He could cry when he felt tired, and we all accepted that.
It’s important to understand that mistakes are not disasters; they are steps in growth. Normal children make mistakes because, in these mistakes, they teach us to be tolerant and flexible. On the other hand, convenient children may not gain this experience because they are afraid to do something wrong.
It’s important to understand that mistakes are not disasters; they are steps in growth. Normal children make mistakes because, in these mistakes, they teach us to be tolerant and flexible. On the other hand, convenient children may not gain this experience because they are afraid to do something wrong.
Convenient children vs normal children.
So, who are "convenient" children? They are the ones who don’t contradict their parents, who don’t express their feelings too strongly because they fear criticism or punishment. These are the children who adapt to the expectations of others because they feel that their "normality" depends on how convenient they are to those around them.
Normal children, on the other hand, grow up in an environment of acceptance, where being themselves is the priority, regardless of the emotions it might evoke in adults. Yes, these children may be inconvenient at times. But that’s the key to their true happiness and future self-confidence.
Normal children, on the other hand, grow up in an environment of acceptance, where being themselves is the priority, regardless of the emotions it might evoke in adults. Yes, these children may be inconvenient at times. But that’s the key to their true happiness and future self-confidence.
What should parents do?
Never forget that normal children are the ones who teach us to be alive, imperfect, but happy. If your child is not always convenient, don’t get upset. It’s normal. Let them make mistakes, let them express their emotions. Let them learn through their experiences, and you through yours. And remember: your children will grow up to be those who are not afraid to be themselves.
Let’s not be afraid to be normal.
Let’s not be afraid to be normal.